If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Okay, so at least you're interested enough to pick up this book and look inside. I think you and I are going to get along just fine.
Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to buy the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor.
Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself.
No, and that's exactly the point. Bookstores are chock full of household name actors and their high stakes shenanigans. I don't want to be a spoilsport, but we've all been down that road before.
Case in point: look to your left - see that Judy Garland book? You don't need that, you know plenty about her already - great voice, crappy life. Now look to your right at the Charlton Heston book. You don't need to cough up hard-earned dough for that either. You know his story too - great voice, crappy toupee.
The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am, there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune.
If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor is my first book, and I invite you to ride with me through the choppy waters of blue collar Hollywood.
Okay, so buy the damned book already and read like the wind!
P.S. If the book sucks, at least there are gobs of pictures, and they're not crammed in the middle like all those other actor books.
made it cool enough for her to hang out with us. It also helped that her boyfriend, Tim Quill, was the lead bad guy. Prom came and went and I never even knew it -- that's how disconnected I was from the dating scene. Still, it didn't keep me from trying to get the attention of women, and I would do anything to get it -- even streaking. Yes, I too was suckered into that lame seventies fad. One night, neighbor Judy Feldman was home alone babysitting her little sister. The elements were ripe for a
apple box. When not gulping cups of Gatorade, an oxygen mask was clamped over his face until the next setup. "It was worth it," Ted explained later. "It got me into the Screen Actors Guild." Evil Dead II required my character, Ash, to grow from "cowardly wimp" to "leader of men." This was the first time I ever had to do any kind of long-term weight training. Bulk wasn't so much the issue -- it was more about creating a sturdy physique that would work in harmony with the hero-in-a-torn-shirt
bags and immediately asked for some "355." This stuff, now discontinued because of its questionable manufacturing process, was surgical adhesive, developed in the rice paddies of the Vietnam War -- in the heat of battle, it could be poured directly into wounds for a quick fix. This was as close to war as I'd ever been, so I glued my finger shut, covered it with dirt, and went back to digging... 33 SECOND TIME IS THE CHARM I wasn't sure whether the "trench affair" Ida Gearon and I just
and we churned through the vows in record time. Following the reception, you might assume that Ida and I immediately jumped on a plane to some far-flung tropical island for a week of bliss. For two people in the entertainment industry, this was not to be. Back home in North Hollywood, we shared a laugh then looked at each other with a nod. "Okay, back to work!" 34 A FLY ON THE DARKMAN WALL Revelation #8: The lowest common denominator is not only alive in Hollywood -- it is revered.
one to come up on the short end of a conversation, but I'll be darned if I could get these cowboys to even look at me, let alone discuss the finer points of securing a flank strap. RIDING INTO THE SUNSET Try as we did to let the entire world know about Brisco, the inevitable happened -- the ratings started to slip. When a show is a hit, everyone is a genius. When a show drops in the ratings, the analysis begins: Exec #1: Should the scripts be funnier? Exec #2: Maybe they're too funny. Exec